Bogged down by busyness

I realize I am not the only one who suffers from the busyness of life; my dear friend even named her blog "Busy, Busy, Busy", so why do I act surprised when I have been going 90 to nothing trying to get everything "done" so that I can do something fun but just as I think I am finished something else pops up on my to do list.
The truth of the matter is we are never "done", there is always going to be something that needs tending to, whether it be cleaning the toilet or helping a child with a school project or helping a friend.
Even the tasks that we can't stop doing (daily family care and feeding) threaten to become ominous.
All of these things are nothing but distractions, they are ammo in the enemies arsenal of tricks. He has come to steal our time from the things that are more important, the things that will matter 10 years from now.
Do I want my children to look back on their childhood and think. "Wow, Mom had the shiniest toilet on the whole block!" Or do I want them to remember that I was there along side them making cookies or just being there, available.
What memories are we making?
In Luke 10:38-42, is the story of Mary and Martha. Martha gets so frustrated that she is frantically preparing a meal and making sure the house looks nice for Jesus, while her sister just sits at the feet of Jesus.
Martha gets so upset that she says to Jesus, "Tell Mary to help me!" (Now I don't know about you, but I don't think I could be so bold as to order the Lord to do something, but wait isn't that how most of our prayers end up coming out? Oh, that's another blog entirely, I guess).
So then Jesus tells Martha that "she is worried about many things, but only one thing is needed, her sister has chosen has chosen the good part and it will not be taken away from her."

Now more than ever, being that we are in the season to celebrate the birth of or Lord, we should stop and take the time to enjoy the reasn for the season; we should be making lasting memories, not worrying about a silly gift that will probably break in the next month or one day be easily forgotten and replaced by whatever is the new and exciting fad of the time.

We/I shouldn't become stressed because time ran out and the MP3 players won't be pre-loaded with music before they are given, or that a package got wrapped, but didn't get a pretty bow(all though who doesn't love opening a pretty package).

When we let the stress get to us, we let satan have the upper hand, he has succeed in stealing from us.

When we take the time to sit at Jesus feet and worship Him, to soak up all that He is into our hearts; when we do this first all the other menial tasks fall into place.
I pray continually that the Lord will help me find and maintain a balance between keeping the things that must be done, taken care of and stopping to actually live life and not neglect those things/people that really matter, that will matter 10 years from now!

Conclusions

At church today we talked about how not being yourself and living to please others can rob you of your joy. I realized maybe that's the biggest part of my problem. I haven't been living according to who God created ME to be! Of course I still don't fully know what that is, but I do know that I spend a lot of effort doing what I think others want or expect from me. I spend entirely too much time worrying about what others think of me.
So from now on I am gong to concentrate on what I do know to be the truth and go from there. I know who I am in God's eyes and I know that he uses anybody as long as they are willing to be used, and not because of their capabilities.
I may still be "crazy" but that keeps life fun!
So here's to enjoying all the tomorrows that God will bless me with! :)

Explanations

When I started blogging I had the hope of being an encouragement to someone, anyone. To show the reality of life with the seasoning of God's blessings.
Unfortunately, I didn't feel very encouraging and I was worried that I was sounding hyper spiritual and not at all realistic or approachable.
I don't want to give the impression that I am to heavenly minded but not any earthly good, of course those that really know me, do know better that that, and I wouldn't want them thinking, "who the heck does she think she is, talking like that when her life is such a mess."
I know I shouldn't worry about what other people think of me, I just don't want anyone to misunderstand me or get the wrong impression!

Complicated

I have been on a roller coaster of emotions this last couple of months. I usually try not to feed my emotions since they tend to steer me away from the truth. This time it hasn't been so easy, I have been in somewhat of an identity crisis, and I just do not seem able to find any answers or solutions.
On the upside to my crisis; this is the first time in my life that I have felt my depression sneaking up on me and I have started praying and focusing on the Lord before sinking in to the abyss. I just do not know how to break this cycle. I have a couple of good days, but only because I work really hard and talk my self in to it. Then I have a lot of bad days. The bad days that when I think about th cause, I really have no right to have. I have a blessed life, healthy family and salvation. I just always have a cloud covering my sunshine.
I feel like I probably need to be in counseling and probably on some sort of anti-depressant, only problem is I can't afford either and I am afraid that someone would think I don't have a good enough faith in God because I wasn't trusting in Him for my healing, that I just need to fight the spiritual battle a little harder.
I know that sounds silly, because I do believe depression is a real "health" issue, I mean if I had diabetes no one would tell me my faith in God wasn't strong enough because I was taking insulin.
I guess the other reason would be because I would have that permanent label in my brain that I am "crazy", that I have to be on medication to be "normal".
I can hear Paul now "You are cranky, did you take your medicine?" Just like I can't be in a bad mood unless I am PMSing. Whatever!
My birthday is coming up and that is not helping my mindset either. I don't feel like I should be this old. Of course I don't feel like I am overweight either, until I look in the mirror.
I just want to be a kind, sweet, happy, reasonnable, level headed person!
Why can't I be???? I once heard someone say that the minute the received Christ into their lives they instantly had more love and kindness in their heart. Well why the heck did that not happen to me. I hate being angry and mean and irrational. Why after all the praying that I have done can't I change?

To all who were going to be readers,

Sorry, there will probably not be any more postings.